I still consider myself recently laid off although I’m encroaching on week seven. With job applications, screening calls and interviews the time has gone by too fast. I look back and still I am frustrated with my lack of progress. Why am I not speaking fluent French or have mastered PHP yet? This is still part of my good at life mantra. I just decided to push myself a little bit farther and faster.
It was lonely there for the past month. Being the laid off girl blogging about being laid off. I’d have to say I much prefer that to the other side of having my friends join me in line. Once again the news from earlier this week hits home. I had another close friend be laid off this morning and I’m hearing friends of friends and family members joining the ranks. While being laid off is not the sign of the apocalypse not knowing how to properly deal with your laid off friend could cause it. So here’s round two for helping your friends deal with their new jobless status.
- Listening. It is probably the most important thing you can do for your friend. When you’re first laid off you aren’t a rational being. It’s like the airborne disease is first taking over your mind and body. Fear and anxiety rule and hearing that everything will be all right is like pouring acid on your skin. It hurts. In hurts a lot. In your mind everything is not good and merry. You’re laid off — how can it be?
Don’t worry, kids. This feeling of Armageddon does go away. It can take a few hours, it can take a few days and for some unlikely probably a few months, but know that listening to your friend rant, rave and foam at the mouth is more appreciated than you know. When they enter the land of the rational again they will remember your long hours of listening and support, and for that you’ll get a gold star. - Hugs. I am a not a big fan of hugs, but I know other people like them. A hug is like a free cookie, or salt lick if you rather. It’s free, personal and no words are needed.
- Time/Support. It takes time. Minus the explicit language that is probably spewing forth from your friend’s mouth, this is a time of self-rebuilding. Whether they loved their job or hated it that’s no longer relevant. For all their complaining and anger, it was their job and now it’s gone. Word of advice, don’t remind them of how much they complained or how better off they are just yet. Trust me it’s not pretty sight to see someone pull a Linda Blair.
And as a personal word of warning:avoid these three phrases.
1. Oh that sucks.
2. Really? I’m sorry.
3. F**k.
Your friendship and life will last much longer. See, there can be harmony with the unemployed and employed. Just make sure to take your vitamins and avoid breathing our air.
There is no perfect way to really talk to your friend, or anyone you care about, whose been laid off. It’s a war zone all in its own respect. Feeling worthless, personally attacked and alone, being laid off is an emotionally solo experience. Friends and family are their for support and love but it’s really about pulling yourself through it and moving on. If all else fails buy your friend some cereal rent Reality Bites and avoid conversations with any body of water for the first few weeks.
