Remember when I called EDD and we set up a date? I told EDD how awesome and amazing he is. We shared a bottle of wine and ordered a pear and brie appetizer. Let me tell you, it was delicious. We ended the night in pleasantries. The surprise came when EDD handed me over the four weeks of unemployment I hadn’t received and an apology note. Sorry, Rachel. I apologize for the inconvenience this caused you. I’ve called your landlord and told him it’s my fault. All my love -EDD. In my fantasy world, EDD would also increase my weekly stipend to at least $500 and allow me the good fortune to buy contact solution. Unfortunately he’s a bit cashed strapped now and I’m still stuck without a check. I’d take an IOU at this point.
I spent the greater part of yesterday reading and re-reading the sheet of paper that told me how I failed at life, or should I say, at filling out the EDD form. You will note that the letter requests that I call the 1-800 number. Always one that likes to follow directions, I got my newly-turned-back-on cell phone out and called my unrequited love, EDD. They must screen their calls because the epic fail of my relationship with EDD continues –a recorded message and no way to get through.
Even Danielle Steel can’t write this heroine out of the predicament. WWZMD? He’d convince Screech to dress up like him and stand in the unemployment line. Brilliant!
Luckily for me my good friend Bob came to my rescue and supplied me with an e-mail. So fellow unemployment Californians if you can’t get a hold of them by phone (1-800-300-5616) try the e-mail system. And if all fails I’ll be heading downtown to dressing up as myself in the unemployment line. I can always use the company.
