Count your blessings working folk. When you get asked “how are you doing” it most likely refers to your job, your love life, a whole ensemble of other variables that are part of your outwardly visual self. When unemployed folk get asked that question it usually is in regards to “have you found a job yet?” or “have you gotten dressed in the past day” or another personal favorite “have you left your apartment.” I love these questions. Each time I get asked I want to channel Sybil and give people a little crazy.
Have I found a job yet
No. It’s day three. I’ve been applying, I’ve been looking for jobs. I’ve been on the hunt. I know everyone is worried but not as worried as me. I liken this to questioning if a woman is pregnant. Never ask someone who’s unemployed if they’ve found a job yet. Like being pregnant, we will let you know when it happens.
Have you gotten dress/left your apartment today
This question is probably more person-based. It’s endearing to think people would consider me a St. Elmo’s type of character — empty room, swaying uncontrollable because I can’t control the universe. As much as I hate not being able to control the universe, living in a small studio apartment does its job effectively.
How am I doing
I don’t know how I am doing. Some hours I am empowered with the ability to do whatever I want. Other hours I’m horrified at what I consider by my own hand, failure at a job. Someone had to be let go and they thought I was not good enough to be kept. I usually shake that feeling but I don’t like to be weak and I was not as good as I wanted to be at a job.
Nights are usually hardest when the thoughts come in. Freaking out to myself has become my nightly ritual in the form of my newest BFF. Normally, a stiff drink or a warm cup of milk would be a cure but stiff drinks cost money and the texture of milk creeps me out. So I deal with it. I will be ok but right now it’s day three. Ask me at week three.
