Ariel, a mermaid, lost her fins, voice, and job as a singer all within a week.
Everyone and their mother sent me Tara Parker-Pope’s “The Pain of Being a Redhead” article from the New York Times last week. Us gingers are rumored to already have fiery tempers, liberally libidinous attitudes, and — as someone wrote in the comments section — we are associated with “general insanity and alcoholism.” Now, it’s been proven (by scientists!) that we experience more pain and require more anesthesia than the rest of the general population. Preach it to the choir, Tara!
If there’s anything I’m not, it’s a scientist. My younger brother’s majoring in Chemistry. I majored in Rhetoric. Genes of the anti-humanities variety simply aren’t coursing through my veins, which is why it makes complete and total sense for me to propose this hypothesis:
In experiencing more pain, do gingers like myself develop more fears besides going to the dentist?
Long story short, it’s gotten to the point where I feel like I require 20% more anesthesia (read: Country Thyme from Elixir in the Mission) than everyone else while sending out cover letters and resumes.
It’s staggering. When I first lost financially and emotionally gainful employment, I wrote that I was afraid of losing the confidence I had gained on the job. Now, it’s become clear that the confidence is sadly waning.
It comes and it goes, but as more and more time passes, it’s harder for me — and others in my position — to have the complete and utter confidence that was present a month ago.
What can I do in order to find solace?
I know! I can totally find support and comfort in my redheaded brothers and sisters. We’ve had it rough with schoolyard taunts and all. There must be some comfort in looking at others who have a penchant for pain. there must be a sense of community and success stories — people that I can admire and look up to.
People like Vincent Van Gogh (cut off ear), David Caruso (still starring in CSI: Miami), Geri Halliwell (left the Spice Girls), James Joyce (interior monologues; self-imposed exile), L. Ron Hubbard (Scientology), Mary Queen of Scots (imprisoned; executed)…
My confidence isn’t waning more now… No, not at all.
Listen up, folks. Sometimes — just sometimes — it’s okay to give into stereotypes.
Country Thyme Recipe:
Ingredients
1 1/2 ounces (whatever) of vodka.
10-15 blueberries.
1/2 ounce of lemon.
1/2 ounce of agave nectar.
2-3 sprigs of fresh thyme.
Preparation
- In mixing cup, add berries/lemon
- Add vodka, agave nectar, ice.
- Shake (and dance) for 30 seconds.
- Take thyme, put it in between palms to release oils.
- Put sprigs on bottom of highball glass and fill with ice.
- Strain cocktail over ice. Use last thyme sprig as garnish.
