Passion. Enthusiasm. The quest for knowledge. In normal circumstances, these are terms that are quite positive and can be highly beneficial to those currently in a job and those searching for one. But there is a dark side. What happens when someone is blinded by their own neurosis and obsession over finding the one perfect solution? Mistakes are often made more frequently and this can cause a person to fall deeper into neurotic behavior. I like to call this the McNulty complex.
I have had a healthy relationship with the show The Wire since I was first introduced to it in 2005 by my brother and sister-in-law. That was a complete and utter lie. My relationship with the Wire has never been healthy. From my desire to take a Wire tour to my two shirts that reference the Wire, I often proclaim how much I love the show to willing and unwilling ears. However, lucky for me I learned a life lesson from the show so I can strike it off of my unhealthy obsession lists and add it to my television-isn’t-all-bad list, right behind Saved by the Bell.
The Wire taught me to keep my neurosis in check. I have a tendency to overdo a lot of things — over think, over analyze and over indulge my neurotic behavior. It starts out with wanting to be the best — move aside Daniel — and culminates in unavoidable human error. I can’t say enough how much I hate making mistakes. Even one simple spelling mistake can turns in to an avalanche of failure. If I spell one thing wrong how can I be worth anything? Someone take away my degrees and leave me on the side of the street. This is the point I take my friends down with me. Harping on my own insignificance, I only make myself more lovable. Why, who doesn’t want to be friends with the girl who tells you why she got laid off, can’t spell and can’t get a job? Me! That’s who.
Jimmy McNulty isn’t like my unemployment hero Zack Morris. McNulty has passion, dedication and intelligence. You should see him when he’s tapping a wire. It’s like magic. However, unlike Zack he abuses his friends past the I-forgive-you stage and with his will to beat the system, he endangers everyone. His inability to move past his own personal and professional mistakes often cloud his judgment. I would call him my poster child for what I do not want to become — neurotic past the point of functioning. But I see myself in him at times — the will to continue, and the want to fix the things that may be far out of my own control.
The McNulty complex is something I’ve been struggling with before I even knew about the Wire. Now I just have a fancy name for it. For me it was being unable to get over that human error we all have, and bringing others down with me watching me burn. Not unlike the dreaded airborne unemployment disease, it catches on and affects all aspects of your life and those around you. Fear not, kids. There is a cure and it’s free. So even if you’ve passed on signing up for COBRA, like I have, you’re still safe from a visit to the doctor.
What to do? Let it be. Who knew the Beatles were still quotable when we have Oasis? Kidding. Honestly though, move on and control what you can. Start with baby steps. It’s what I’m doing to help me realize that I’ll never be able to achieve the perfection I desire. If I can’t let myself be good enough how can I expect employers and other people to appreciate my work? Your mom was right. It all starts with self worth. If I had known television would be bring this much good to my life I would have never wasted all the years outside climbing trees and making snowmen.
