You hit that wall. The one where you wake up one morning and notice the empty plates of food on the floor, crumbs on the bed, not to mention the flies hoovering in the sink. It’s gross. No wait, strike that. You are gross. How’d you let yourself slip like that? One minute you have everything together — smiling face, go-get-em-done attitude and a routine — the next you think know you haven’t done laundry in weeks and you spend your time sleeping all the time or not sleeping at all. Enough. Self-pity is not attractive. Time to pull out Jane Fonda’s unemployment workout and kick those obtrusive and lumpy unemployment love handles to the curb.
1.Reinventing the squat: Watch your knees, keep your back straight and remember to feel the burn. You’ve been on repeat for months now. Your butt can only get so firm. Change it up. If you’re like me, you’ve been doing the same job search with same resume for months now. No wonder you’re not happy with life. Routine is great but it’s time to throw a wrench and change things up. I’ve decided to redo my resume and re-evaluate what I’m good at. Like the squat, a good resume has some basic rules but also allows for reinvention. On the must-have list: spell check, formatting and my personal information. The best squats are the ones that trick new muscles into working. So grab a 5lb dumbbell and get firmer gluts.
2. Scissor kick out the blues: Your kicks aren’t getting any faster and in fact they are more introductory ballet than Rockettes. Do you blame your legs? Have you looked around your apartment? A happy home is a clean home. It’s bad enough you’re the poor unemployed friend, don’t make your friends hate you more by being the poor, unemployed smelly friend. Yes showers work but not when you’ve forgone laundry for sleep. Pull it together and take down the trash. Look at all the space you have when you actually clean? You got the Rockettes audition in the bag if weren’t for the damn height requirement.
3. Stair step your way to happiness: Everything take practice and dedication but every now and again it’s good to take a break, right? More than a day or two and you’ve become the Eeyore of unemployment. So you’ve reached the end of your rope for the job search. Look around. How happy were you to begin with? Try a new search. Use your retooled resume to knock down doors.
Throw on your spandex, it’s time to get physical and teach those pesky unemployment pounds that they are no longer welcome. With a bit of dedication and a new routine you can be well on your way to a happy and healthier employment search. Thanks Jane!
Here comes the sun. Sorry kids, I’ve been Debbie Downer for too long. It took 14 hours of sleeping and a morning of Degrassi for me to get off my butt and adhere to the Jane Fonda unemployment workout. It’s day one and I hope to stick to the regiment this time. Cheers for bright and shiny mornings.
