For as strong-willed and as Vicki-like as I am, I too get down. It’s a constant reminder that I am not my job. I can’t be my job. I don’t have one anymore. I go through the weeks positive and strong but I hit moments of weakness like everyone else. Festering in the Fire Swamp and contemplating the whys (why me? why now?) only frustrate me more because these are not proactive thoughts.
In order to be my own therapist and deal with my fears; I’m writing them out. Seeing things written and expressing what I am most afraid of — not being hired ever again — forces me to see how ridiculous they are. I may not get a job tomorrow and I may not get a job next week, but I will have a job again.
Warning, I will have spasms of momentarily loss of proactive thoughts. These normally last anywhere from five minutes to entire weekends, I’ll do my best to keep them under control. Besides, I always have Alaska and grizzly bears to fall back on.
