Last week, I committed the ultimate interview faux pas. I was late to a follow-up. It was scheduled for noon. East coast time. Running around at the gym, I finished up around 10 PST to see several missed calls. With voicemails.
“Apparently we had a time disconnect,” the voice on the message said.
Yes, yes we did. The first interview from the previous week, I am told, went quite well. However, I have yet to hear back for another follow-up. It was thoroughly embarrassing, but an honest mistake. Still, how could I have been late to my own interview?
I had a different interview for another group soon after. This time, I was not tardy for the party, but that was the theme of the hour-long discussion. Glancing over my resume, I’m told that much of my experience is working on “legitimate” entertainment and news.
Let it be known, this is not the first time I’ve been asked to dumb my interests down. It’s really quite surprising, since a lot of my interests are sincerely superficial. It seems to be happening quite a lot, actually.
“So, you like good movies, but do you watch TV or movies that aren’t good? You produced a music podcast, but with quality music – do you like bad music? Are you a fan of Twilight?”
The next hour was spent delving into my overwhelming knowledge of this:
Yes, Kim Zolciak’s “Tardy for the Party.” It answers two questions in one fell swoop. Do I watch bad TV? Well, Kim Zolciak is a Real Housewife of Atlanta. And yeah, she came out with this banger of a bad song.
I took a big gulp and said that this drunk anthem was “my anthem right now.”
The thing is this — clearly this is not my anthem (except on Fridays). I don’t think it’s anyone’s anthem. There’s just something completely and utterly revolting about it generally. I’m sure that it’s hugely embarrassing for Kim Zolciak and her children and Big Poppa. And that’s what makes it so good.
Instead of honestly discussing the expulsion of ear blood that occurs when popping a bottle of bubbly and hearing this, I treated Kim Zolciak’s efforts in a serious light. In retrospect, my answer and monologue probably sounded like something from Nene Leakes, that other housewife. I think she probably possessed my body for a bit, opinions and all.
Five minutes were left in the interview. What was the last question? Oh, am I fan of Twilight? If I wasn’t before, I am now.
OF COURSE I'm a fan of Twilight.
