This doesn’t look like how I remembered it before. I know I was here, but things look awfully different. Gone are the singing munchkins, the lush poppy fields and the yellow brick road. The remnants are there — a yellow brick here, a statue there, but it’s not as shiny or happy. The ocean is silent and this time around the land of unemployment is not made better with a watching of Reality Bites.
This week has been marked by long bouts of fear, anxiety and bottomless cups of tea. There have been tears — I won’t lie. And unlike before the bright and shiny days don’t make up for the fear and anxiety that have been keeping me up at night. I haven’t felt this tested or pushed to my own limits, ever.
Soon I’m going to have make some important decisions. These are decisions that I didn’t necessarily want to make but there comes a point that no matter how optimistic, and motivated, and driven to succeed you are, sometimes your luck runs out. I don’t think luck is the right word. It’s more the natural ebb and flow of life. Whether it’s leaving SF, trying a new field or selling all my belongings and pulling an In to the Wild — minus the whole death and dehydration thing — I just hope to look back at this blip, please just let it be a blip, and remember what I gained more so than what I lost.
