Your eyes meet and you coyly look away. You read once that no one likes someone that is too forward when they first meet. One must be careful to not be overzealous now, right? Your eyes meet again. Perfection is met with everything you’ve ever wanted — benefits that include vision and dental, PTO and travel? Oh my, I don’t think we’ll be in unemploymentland much longer, Dorothy. What could be better? You don’t have to give notice, you are free and available. Life was made for the two of you. Swoon.
So you slip over your resume and mouth, “call me.” You’ve past-tensed your resume, spell checked your cover letter and made sure there was no lipstick on your teeth. Phone bill is paid and e-mail has been cleared, now you wait. And wait some more. Oh, and continue to wait. You start to resent that day that your eyes met. Maybe it was a game at your expense. Maybe there was never a chance. You watch your employed friends get emails and calls all day long. Don’t worry they say, if there’s interest then they’ll call. Your friends tell you that you have a great personality and to give it time. When it’s right, it will happen. Don’t rush it. Why is it always my friends and not me?
That perfect job wasn’t so perfect after all. It didn’t want you. You were soiled. Soiled by unemployment. No one likes a free agent, just ask Barry Bonds. As if being laid off wasn’t enough on it’s own, the Wall Street Journal has a trend piece on how some potential employers are only hiring employed people.
‘If they’re employed in today’s economy, they have to be first string,’ says Ryan Ross, a partner with Kaye/Bassman International Corp., an executive recruiting firm in Dallas. Mr. Ross says more clients recently have indicated that they would prefer to fill positions with “passive candidates” who are working elsewhere and not actively seeking a job. The Wall Street Journal
What’s an unemployed girl to do? She can start by refusing to play the victim card. Get over it and stop comparing yourself to your friends, or anyone else for that matter. It’s hard. I know. I won’t lie. I compare myself to other people all the time. Why did I get stuck with brown eyes and not hazel like my siblings? Why can’t I think in PHP or Ruby on Rails like my friend Henry? Why can’t I create awesome designs like my friend Karin? The list goes on and on like that song that doesn’t end. It’s a constant struggle to interalize who I am and not compare myself to others. So your employed friends are getting offers or interviews? Well good for them. It’s a rough economy and if they find happiness or more money then kudos to them. This is the time to stop comparing yourself to everyone around you and focus on you. You don’t have control if the employeer wants to find someone who is still employed. So let it go, move on and deal with it. Besides kids if all else fails then you can always fight the powers that be and create your own thing. Don’t wait for someone else to do it for you.
