After being noticeably absent for about a week, Fauxdonna’s music has traversed the 92.7/Castro airwaves to reach the inside of my parent’s car in North Carolina. Grating, harsh, and yet pretty darn catchy at the same time — “LoveGame” is a welcome departure from the skeeters and other island bugs, as well as the ungodly humidity of Emerald Isle.
The LoveGame has also become the most dangerous kind of game… If you’re thinking of that story by Richard Connell about a man hunting another man, you’re a bit off, but still kind of on the right track.
You may recall Sanger Rainsford falling off a boat and washing upon a place similar to Emerald Isle. Unlike my vacation, this is a patch of land where one General Zaroff resides. Over a welcome meal, Zaroff explains to Rainsford that he will be armed with a knife and placed in the jungle. Shortly after, Zaroff will come after him, find him, and kill him. If he just so happened to survive long enough, Rainsford will be fortunate enough to leave with his life.
Remember it? Okay, let’s take the story and remake, re-imagine, or whatever those crazy kids call it these days.
Pretend one Southern Rainsford happens to have a semi-crush with one flannel-wearing bro. Let’s call him General… Moostaché. Staché for short.
Don’t judge. It’s San Francisco, the hipster movement is still in full swing, and I said I was taking some liberties with the story.
Anyway, the problem: Southern Rainsford, a hunter by trade, has lost his hunting license. Unable to work and weary of where life is heading, he surprisingly finds himself owning the number to General Staché’s Chateau after speaking outside of a deli on the ever present Marquette Street.
In a casual, quick, and relevant move, Rainsford mentions via carrier pigeon or text message (whichever you prefer) that he is currently without gainful employment. It’s at least kind of hip now, right? I mean, you’re General Staché, surely you will understand what it is to be trendy without said hunting license.
I have yet to finish writing the story. Will Rainsford inevitably lose his favourite game due to a lack of dollar bill$? Perhaps…
It’s impossible for me to say what it’s like for a 
longstanding couple, perhaps with children, who suddenly go through a bout of unemployment. Losing work is devastating all around. The most academic and intelligent words that come to mind are — it just sucks. It clearly places stress on both members of the couple and I cannot even fathom what it does to the relationships between children and unemployed adults.
But what about for your typical, single, post-college redhead? Yeah, probably a lot less stressful, but still not fun.
Being unable to say, “This is what I do,” has the ability to make one (read: me) feel quite inadequate at times. If I was completely successful career-wise and someone nice, but unemployed was trying to start a LoveGame, would I go for it? Would it be the definition of superficial? I don’t know. Are they passionate? Do they know what they want?
I do.
We’ve already suffered employment break-ups and then we try and play hard to get for newer, better relationships. And that’s just for work. For real, real relationships, it’s the same sort of battlefield. A first date oftentimes feels like a job interview, but how are we supposed to seriously go into that without the career backbone?
The Most Dangerous Game ends in a battle between Zaroff and Rainsford that is not described. However, Rainsford is seemingly victorious. He climbs into bed and gets the best night of sleep he’s ever gotten… It’s your turn to fill in the gaps and imagine what happened. But hurry. Otherwise, I may describe how it involved a bottle of Campari in the Haus of GaGa, a beat that’s sick, and something about a disco stick.
