Dear Microsoft:
I’m not sure if you’re looking for some new people to join your advertising team, but after this:
…You really should be looking into it.
Sincerely,
Scott Pierce
P.S. — Seriously, what is this? I mean, I’m as excited about the launch of Windows 7 as the next person, but come on. I realize we’re supposed to be all PC (har harrr) and whatnot, but who are these people and why are they hanging out together? It’s a cornucopia of awkwardness that’s more along the lines of The People Under the Stairs than a Brady Bunch group of togetherness.
These people are trapped. So trapped. They are in desperate need of throwing a real party. A party that I could give them if you hire me.
I know a lot about parties that should be kind of awkward, but aren’t. After all, I’m on a first name basis with the homeless of Polk Street. I love the lady with the kittens, Jasper chats with me everyday, and I pray for Hollister’s health. I ate at the same gross restaurant where a man just ordered gravy. And he ordered it to go.
I could give that extra boost to your advertising campaign through my experiences with hosting unemployment parties. It features a diverse group of people, much like the individuals in your commercial, except we are actually bonded by the fact that we’re all really desperate and in need of financial support.
My co-blogger, Rachel, provided this hint of wisdom about unemployment parties that I take with me:
“You need one part sarcasm, a dash of optimism, and a whole lot of free shit… Preferably with booze.”
Right now, I’m still confused by what your party is all about. Somewhere, Justin Long is super-happy. If you want to give him a frowny face or a blue screen of death face — give me a call, Microsoft!
