I’ve started more contract work today. It’s five hours and it’s pretty similar to the roles and functions I had at my previous job. I got a twinge of fear this morning before I started rolling out the tactics.
Remaining strong, resilient and keeping your sense of humor while being unemployed is a lesson in self-preservation. It’s hard not to let it have an influence on your work ego especially when the job you’re doing is exactly the same as what you were doing before. For the employed you have those days of self-doubt. Am I really good at my job? Did I do everything I needed to? But usually it blows over when you get your paycheck and go out for drinks with friends. Job worry says what? But when you’ve lost your job everything is questioned — even seven weeks later and several contract positions in — you can blame the lack of a paycheck or drinks with friends, but it doesn’t blow over as easily.
I realized mid-worry this morning that last week I sent self-deprecation Rachel away on a long vacation. It would have been rude of me to make her come back early. So I brushed it off and did my job. What good was it going to do me to think about being laid off. Was it going to do my job for me? No. Was it going to help me do my job better? No. None of my concerns were going to make me a better offer than my current contract work. The pay would be significantly less and there was an overall lack of respect for me from said concerns. So I thanked them for their offer, and I sent them on their way. No doubt they’ll be back with another offer but I’m getting better at turning them away.
The worst thing about unemployment is living inside your head. The moment you share your insecurities, even with yourself written on paper, the sooner you can take back control of your life. That is not to say that you’ll get paycheck, but how about a nice pat on the back? Good work, kiddo. If I were still a Girl Scout I’d get some kind of good at life badge for that.
The rain has cleared and the sun has come out. Some days the universe likes to take pity on the poor and unfortunate unemployed souls of the world. Today I was touched by the my computer may not be quite dead yet angel . Rebirth of a laptop: Oshima is rising like a phoenix carrying me out of more potential debt to a world of Internet connectability anywhere I choose to go. No longer will I be shackled to my desktop or forced to stare at a non-functioning laptop. True love does conquer all, and so does $300 to send it to the Apple doctors.
