I am back. Like Batman, I’ve returned. I’ve visited with friends, lacked Internet access for a while and took in the occasional concert during the week. But my three week sojourn in the land of sans blogging would be best summed-up by saying I slacked. I slacked and I let my blog self down. Fail.
This past month has been rough for reasons that I haven’t been able to fully ingest yet. I do know that I’m looking to find that inner roar that I created when unemployed. Work is good. I love the company. It’s the me part that I still need to fix. As a kid, I always imagined myself as an adult. In my kid head, I was usually 5’11, could tan and was fabulous for a variety of reasons. As a fan of the sun, and 70 SPF sunblock, I can attest that I am not tan. Nor am I 5’11″. I round out a healthy 5’2″. Fantastic!
This past month it became apparent that I still had these lingering kid-obsessed-notions of who I thought I was and who I wanted to be. Granted, I got over the whole tan and height issue, I mean I can’t really change that, now can I? But what about these thoughts and issues of the fabulous life I envisioned for myself and the skills I thought I’d rock at? There are people smarter than me and better than me. Those thoughts are always with me and cause me to lose focus. It’s no one’s fault but my own. I wish I was a unique and special snowflake. But I am me. It’s time I forced myself to take a good hard look at how I am the a href=”http://www.amazon.com/Secret-Garden-1991-Original-Broadway/dp/B000002862″>the girl I mean to be, and work towards acknowledging and appreciating that.
It’s only fitting that after setting goals during unemployment — which I need to brush up on — I’d give myself themes — both professional and personal — to work on, too. This week’s theme is: making your own deadlines. It’s something I’ve struggled with before. I hate deadlines. Hating them doesn’t make them go away and so I’ve decided it’s best to face that hate head on. I am not promising to be a master of deadlines in a week. I still speak horribly broken French and sadly my PHP skills are still subject to the flashing the words, “Hello World!” However, I won’t give up. Even when all things go wrong, even the last unicorn gave it her all and in the end she wasn’t alone after all. If she can defeat the red bull, I can manage and conquer deadlines.
