Kanye West, douche, steals the mic from Taylor Swift.
Last night was the not-so-relevant-anymore MTV Video Music Awards. At least this year, they tried.
Everyone knows MTV isn’t what it used to be. While the breakthrough channel helped kill the radio star, it’s becoming clearer and clearer that sites like Pitchfork started stabbing MTV in the face long ago. Likewise, the channel contributed to its own self-mutilation with scripted reality television.
However, like Oprah’s interview with Whitney today — and as we’ve said before on this site — everyone loves a good comeback story.
In certain ways the “ceremony” did get back to being true to form… It’s only been about a decade. There were actual powerhouses on stage: Madonna talked about Michael Jackson (and herself, as she should), Janet Jackson did a pretty sweet synchronized dance to “Scream,” Beyoncé diva-d out to “Single Ladies”, and Lady GaGa fulfilled a shock pop void.
Kind of cool, largely senseless…Lady GaGa "Paparazzi"
Still, it wasn’t like the good old days where strung out celebrities actually did things that were semi-ludicrous. No one pulled a Tim Bob from Rage Against the Machine, who once dangerously dangled from the constructed sets.
Last night, Lady GaGa bled on stage, but years ago Marilyn Manson strutted out in a corset with his ass hanging out. Sure, Kanye rushed the stage and stole Taylor Swift’s teenage thunder – but popular culture and modern society dictate that everyone knows Kanye was pompous to begin with. Again, it’s been 10 years, but I’m still asking – What’s going on MTV?!
And yet, we tune in. And we love it. That’s because we know that we’ll find something that we all can relate to, love, judge, and critique.
Fortunately, last night did bring about one particular memory that, for me, was more like the OJ Simpson car chase than the OJ Simpson car chase. Happening roughly a year after that infamous, low-speed incident, it’s a clip that launched a thousand dreams to work in media.
It is also a clip that is the visual embodiment of my unemployed feelings.
Of course, I am referring to Courtney Love sabotaging Kurt Loder’s interview with Madonna in 1995.
I’ve looked at this clip over the years for pure entertainment value, but now I find I relate to it in the kitschiest, but most realistic ways possible.
Imagine that Kurt Loder, Madonna, and Tabitha Soren are one entity.
During these days, I feel that I am this entity. It’s kind of a schizophrenic feeling. You see — physically, I am Tabitha Soren (it’s the red hair). My ego can be that of Madonna, and I kind of have the awkward confidence of Loder. Then, like a bat out of hell, unemployment — Courtney Love’s compact — lands in my lap.
How am I supposed to deal? Courtney Love is now a virus that’s a part of me. She’s crawled into my psyche. At first, it’s fun. But funemployment quickly gets to be a bit much. Things are spiraling out of control and my ego and confidence leave the podium. All that’s left is my awkward Loder confidence, when I need Madonna. Tabitha Soren tries to remain calm as well, but she’s almost being physically assaulted.
Courtney/Unemployment, I love your crazy antics. It’s been fun, but it’s been way too long lasting. Let’s go to career rehab together and get the aspirations and positive ego back inside. Please? The last thing I want is to become as stale and sad as MTV’s current Hills-centric programming.
