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Blame it on the rain

Feb 8th, 2010
by Rachel.
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My apologizes to my friends on the east coast. I know you have #snOMG and #snowscrewed and all so don’t judge me when I complain about the rain. It really is nothing personal. I know you have the day after tomorrow outside your door tonight and all, and have been enjoying the miracles of empty grocery stores, but that does not mean your neighbors to the west haven’t been met with their own winter blues.

Rain. It’s not the fact that I can’t enjoy the sun or that I haven’t been to the park in months –don’t get me wrong being caught in the rain is like my favorite new hobby — no, it’s because for two months straight we haven’t seen the sun and it’s starting to affect me.

It’s easy when you’re down to blame the things around you. It’s not my fault I was late. Caltrain had electrical issues (two Mondays in a row, thank you). I blame Caltrain. It’s not my fault my alarm didn’t go off. My phone shut it self off. I blame my phone. It’s not my fault I’m uber depressed and moody. It’s been raining since January. That’s two months straight. I blame the rain.

It’s days like this that remind me of one my childhood favorite bands, Milli Vanilli. I actually remember reading about their demise in the newspaper. It was one of those icon moments where I remember putting down Dear Mr. Henshaw to read about why one of my favorite bands wasn’t going to be releasing any new tapes. I learned many things that day. My favorite may have been the new vocabulary word: lip sync. Awesome.

It’s times like this when I get down for no reason (besides the two-months of rain) that I need to remind myself that I’m accountable for my own actions and happiness. As much as I’d like to channel Queen of Hearts and take out my enemies with an off-with-their-head attitude, I remind myself living in a garden with headless people running around would be quiet lonely. I can only answer myself so much before even I have to tell myself to quiet down. It’s funny how as humans we can turn a semi ok day into a-terrible-horrible-no-good-very-bad-day when you let it.

I stopped trying to blame other people for mistakes, the weather, odds and ends that happen in a given day. You can call me one who likes to be in control, but I call it acceptance.  When I take control and become accountable for my actions I discovered a new found power that exists. It’s the one that helps me grow, the one that helps me realize how in control I really am when things seem out of control. It’s not always the easiest. Especially when the angry voices inside my head tell me how horrible I am and the demise of mankind is imminent. I let myself feel down for that moment — to really take in the feeling — and when I’ve made myself feel terrible I pull myself back up and move on.  So rain, you may have won this round, but my season depression will end, just not today.

And for all you snow bunnies, we may only have rain, but I envy your biceps,  triceps and abs. Keep shoveling that snow, kids. You’re so ready for spring baby and you don’t even know it.

Posted in: Lessons, Motivation, Staying Positive, routine.
Tagged: · · · · · ·

Watching from the sidelines

Feb 6th, 2010
by Rachel.
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Nothing like becoming an adult than watching those around you become victims of the economy while you’re still struggling to regain your own sense of working self. A year ago we all imagined that now we’d be in a place populated with jobs, money, and options.

Ok.Slight fabrication. We knew that the world changed. The “adulthood” we expected wasn’t there anymore. A year wasn’t going make  any magical overnight changes to the economy and trees weren’t going to grow gummy bears. That didn’t mean we weren’t hopeful for the end of layoffs, uncertainty and lower rent. Don’t judge, I still wish on stars for lower rent. It may happen.

I’ve been watching a number of close friends who’ve been laid off close to a year now struggle. Struggle in the same ways I had and struggle in different ways that I can’t understand. I feel like my soccer coach from when I was kid watching from the sidelines trying to keep us invested in the game and looking at the larger picture. The ball may be going here at this second, but where will it go next?

I confess, I only played one season and I was more interested in picking grass and playing in the net than kicking a ball down the field. Watching people you are friends with struggle is harder than going through it yourself. When I was unemployed I was in my head. I controlled the situation and could bring myself out of my own self-described deprecation, but now I’m back on the other side and as I so eloquently first stated there are things you never tell an unemployed person. What can a former unemployed friend do from the sidelines?

  1. Follow up Like any good coach, check in with your unemployed friend.  I personally try to avoid talk of jobs, applications and money only because I try to respect someone’s boundaries, but honestly, some people need to be pressed and forced to open up.
  2. Be available My coach used to run up and down the field along side us (or so I imagine, I was like six at the time). He didn’t always interrupt play, but was there, and available, at crucial times. It’s not always having the right thing to say, but being there to listen.
  3. Show support It’s a pat on the back or a hug, but mostly it’s a genuine interest in how your friend is doing and supporting them during their ups and downs.

One of the hardest things to deal with about my unemployed friends is my own personal desire to scream I’ve been there. Listen to me!  I have all the answers in the universe. Seriously, it’s like this overwhelming desire to sit on a sofa and talk about my unemployment and tell them what they can do, what I’ve done and how it can all right in the end. I can’t though. When you’re there, in unemployment, you know you’re not alone, but at the same time your situation is unique to you. It’s hard to hearing but the thoughts inside your head.

It’s been a year and we all have places we thought we’d be and persons we’d become and things we would be doing. We take what we can and we reboot. Something I’ve learned is that taking a step back doesn’t mean failure. It’s a chance to regain composure, refine your skill set and breathe. As for the rest of this year, I’m not counting on gummy bear trees or salt licks that won’t kill me prematurely. I just want to survive and retain my sense of humor. I’ll keep the unhealthy salt lick for that.

Posted in: Conversations, Lessons, Unemployed, career building.
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One year later

Feb 4th, 2010
by Rachel.
Comments

Cheers to the end of 2009. I don’t know about you, but that year –2009– not in my top ten for the decade or the prior 28 for that matter. I won’t begin to contemplate the future years. Woo. There’s one thing 2009 taught me, kids. Don’t be too hung-up on the future because trust me it’ll bite you and that bite burns.

2009 in review: amid many changes — jobs (both gain and loss), unemployment (Mr. Unemployment and his unreliability), road trips, weddings and the death of a close friend — I became an adult. Seriously, don’t laugh at me, we all become adults at different times in our lives. I was just lucky that like all things in life mine came much later. Awkward high school photos FTW! Stupid learning curve. Truthfully the idea of adulthood at 18 only makes sense to those who are 17. Freedom is in your reach until you turn 18 and realize nothing has changed. Yeah. I woke up at 25 and still felt like that. It took a change — one I hadn’t fit into my five year plan — to force me to grow up because like adulthood, unemployment comes at different times, or not at all.

When this year ended and I began working again I felt like I couldn’t blog anymore. I missed it, but in this web world of full disclosure and true personalities I felt like a fraud. I didn’t know how to keep things the same when things had changed. It wasn’t until I got an e-mail from my dad tonight where he sent me this:

Obsession over dates: It starts as simple as celebrating a week of employment and moves into the over-neurotic nature of counting down until you’ve hit six-months of employment. I personally am looking to remain employed past Jan. 16, 2010. I mean, of course I want to be employed longer and more permanently, but that would be a good start. Nothing says I’m awesome-and-wonderful like being employed a year later. Source

I had made it. One year later and I am working. So here I am. Awesome? I was always awesome. Wonderful? That’s debatable depending on my mood. At least I’m honest. One year later? Life still exists.

I don’t know what’s going to happen. My good-at-life-pay-off-my-credit-cards has me refusing to answer my phone. After being unemployed on and off for a year the idea of financial stability has yet to rejoin me in my happy dance. It’s ok. I’ll figure it out. It’s a scary world out there, but it’s nice to know other people are continuing to stay positive and put their best work forward. It’s time to be smart. It’s time to be creative. Isn’t that right, Katie? Here’s wishing you the best of luck.

Posted in: Employment, Lessons, Unemployed, job search.
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Taking it to the streets: Step Up

Nov 24th, 2009
by Rachel.
Comments

It can happen anywhere – your desk, the movies, dinner, while you’re lying in bed –  suddenly the fear creeps in.  Your palms sweat and your pores ooze. The lights begin to flicker. Not again. The horror, the horror. Oh, Post-tramatic Layoff  disorder (PTLD), how you taunt with your visions of unemployment dancing in our heads.  So cruel.

I am nearing my four-month contract employment mark. Yay! It’s a big step when you’ve been unemployed on and off the past year or more and find yourself working again. It’s a pleasant feeling like freshly cut grass, Fall on the East coast or some sea salt as a snack. But something that occasional interrupts such bliss is the dreaded and mind-numbingly annoying flash back of unemployment.

Obsession over dates: It starts as simple as celebrating a week of employment and moves into the over-neurotic nature of counting down until you’ve hit six-months of employment. I personally am looking to remain employed past Jan. 16, 2010. I mean, of course I want to be employed longer and more permanently, but that would be a good start.  Nothing says I’m awesome-and-wonderful like being employed a year later.

Re-occurring conversations on when you were unemployed: Remember that time I was unemployed? I was unemployed this year, twice. Did I tell you that? I learned so much… Shoot me now. Part of the joy of going through PTLD is reliving all the lessons you learned. Maybe I didn’t learn them right? Maybe I have more to learn? Maybe I need my friends and family should just start ignoring me before I turn into Charlie Brown’s teacher. It’s time to step-up and let it go — street style.

Life happens and that’s what unemployment and then re-employment teaches you. In the battle of appreciating what you have and learning to navigate the unknown just step up.   Let go of the past and look towards the present. My inner self that likes to control everything is slowly letting go of all things in the universe I can’t control. That is not to say that if by some magical power I gained control of the universe that I wouldn’t use it, but for now I’m conceding. Some lessons in life are able to be learned. Just don’t tell too many people.

Posted in: Employment, Motivation, Staying Positive.

Self-actualization via the crazy

Oct 19th, 2009
by Scott.
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dreams

Congratulations are in order. And by that, I mean I’m going to congratulate myself. I’ve made the jump from all-out unemployment to the realm of part-time underemployment. Translation: I am wedged in between the lowest tiers of Maslow’s self-actualization pyramid! Huzzah! Still, it’s progress and I have my sights set on what I want.

maslows-hierarchy1237990814My job requires marketing writing that’s supposed to be in the voice of a teen girl (Interviewer: “Can you do that?” Me: “Duh.”). With my previous experiences working on ABC programming geared toward middle-aged women, I will soon have run the lady gamut and know everything there is to know about the fairer sex.

While marketing writing isn’t necessarily my undying passion, I really need cash and I am interested in gaining “the experience.” In addition to this opportunity, there is also another prospect that I’m truly, truly excited about…

But should I be?

One of my roommates, the one with an affinity for psychics, bought Sam Raimi’s marvelous little gem Drag Me To Hell. It came out on DVD this week, so definitely check it out if you have not seen it. I would argue that this movie and Paranormal Activity (my Wired.com review here) make for the best double feature of the year.

Both this movie and Paranormal Activity deal with a demon haunting its protagonist. In this case, it’s the beautiful, talented, charming, all-around awesome Alison Lohman. It’s clear that the movie has a particular stance and that stance is anti-employment.

If you’re employed, the movie argues that you become part of an establishment that seeks to destroy both you and the people around you (which is very interesting, given our current economic circumstances).

Or, maybe it’s just about Alison Lohman pissing off a gypsy by denying her mortgage extension, causing the gypsy to awaken the Lamia, said demon, which tries its best to drag our charming, guilt-ridden protagonist to hell. Lohman even has to kill her kitty cat to try and protect her soul and, by extension, her job.

What I truly appreciated about Raimi’s movie is that Lohman’s character is placed on screen as an honest to goodness human with feelings. We know she was a fat kid, we know her Mom is an alcoholic, and we know that her boyfriend’s prestigious family dislikes her simple background. She’s being haunted by both the present and past. We know her (and in some cases, are her), demons and all. She’s self-actualizing via the crazy and I love it.

While we definitely live in age of over sharing (it’s not always good to talk about your inner and not-so-inner demons), we are also in a time where aloofness reigns supreme. With this film, in all its craziness, it’s nice to know that there’s still a place for sincerity, even if it’s in the guise of a fictional character.

I recently found myself having drinks with Daniel Pinchbeck, son of Beat generation author Joyce Johnson. Like my roommate, he has an affinity for discussing “psychic planes”. If you don’t know who this guy is, watch this:

The Colbert Report Mon – Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Daniel Pinchbeck
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Michael Moore

Basically, he’s that friend from college that you would occasionally hang out with — usually on Friday nights, in a fragrant, incense-filled room. Unlike the homeless burnouts on the streets of San Francisco, he was lucky enough to have a magazine assignment that shipped to West Africa to experience psychedelic shaman rituals, which eventually led to a book deal. After his experiences, he came to the stunning realization that what we are doing to our planet is bad (Okay…).

…He also came to the conclusion that there will probably be a shift in global consciousness very soon, and he also talks about how this may be linked to alien visitations and crop circles.

There are a couple of reasons as to why our encounter could, uh, only be described as, uh, AWKWARD.

First, the prospective job that excites me so much is something that he considers completely frivolous (even though he’s worked in media). Second, when discussing his reasons for exploring shamanism and psychedelics, he cites a personal existential crisis.

What is this crisis, you may ask?

I don’t know because he’s not telling. Yes, it may be personal info. However, for someone who seeks to be profound and personal through his books, it would seem to make sense to strive for the personal qualities of Alison Lohman’s character in Drag Me To Hell. For someone preaching a current lack of humanity, social understanding, and nihilism in media– I’d just like to hear some of those experiences on a personal level.

After the messages surrounding me in both film and conversation, again, I ask: Should I be excited about my prospects or will I go crazy as I try to self-actualize?

Answer:

Whatever job I have/get may give me an existential, demon-filled crisis… But you know what? As I said, I’m in the lowest tiers of Maslow’s hierarchy. Living in reality. I need to support myself and find security, first and foremost.

Basically, if my life and Maslow status could be represented via film, I would be pre-nose job Paula Abdul singing “Party.” I got my first mini-paycheck today, so that’s what I’m having.

Hell-to-the-yes.

Posted in: Conversations, Employment, Fear, Goals, Money, Staying Positive, Themes, Unemployed, job search.
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Tardy for the party

Oct 4th, 2009
by Scott.
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dont_be_tardy_for_the_party_tshirt-p235250621546371635y5n0_400
Last week, I committed the ultimate interview faux pas. I was late to a follow-up. It was scheduled for noon. East coast time. Running around at the gym, I finished up around 10 PST to see several missed calls. With voicemails.

“Apparently we had a time disconnect,” the voice on the message said.

Yes, yes we did. The first interview from the previous week, I am told, went quite well. However, I have yet to hear back for another follow-up. It was thoroughly embarrassing, but an honest mistake. Still, how could I have been late to my own interview?

I had a different interview for another group soon after. This time, I was not tardy for the party, but that was the theme of the hour-long discussion. Glancing over my resume, I’m told that much of my experience is working on “legitimate” entertainment and news.

Let it be known, this is not the first time I’ve been asked to dumb my interests down. It’s really quite surprising, since a lot of my interests are sincerely superficial. It seems to be happening quite a lot, actually.

“So, you like good movies, but do you watch TV or movies that aren’t good? You produced a music podcast, but with quality music – do you like bad music? Are you a fan of Twilight?”

The next hour was spent delving into my overwhelming knowledge of this:

Yes, Kim Zolciak’s “Tardy for the Party.” It answers two questions in one fell swoop. Do I watch bad TV? Well, Kim Zolciak is a Real Housewife of Atlanta. And yeah, she came out with this banger of a bad song.

I took a big gulp and said that this drunk anthem was “my anthem right now.”

The thing is this — clearly this is not my anthem (except on Fridays). I don’t think it’s anyone’s anthem. There’s just something completely and utterly revolting about it generally. I’m sure that it’s hugely embarrassing for Kim Zolciak and her children and Big Poppa. And that’s what makes it so good.

Instead of honestly discussing the expulsion of ear blood that occurs when popping a bottle of bubbly and hearing this, I treated Kim Zolciak’s efforts in a serious light. In retrospect, my answer and monologue probably sounded like something from Nene Leakes, that other housewife. I think she probably possessed my body for a bit, opinions and all.

Five minutes were left in the interview. What was the last question? Oh, am I fan of Twilight? If I wasn’t before, I am now.

OF COURSE I'm a fan of Twilight.

OF COURSE I'm a fan of Twilight.

Posted in: Conversations, FAIL, job search.
Tagged: · · · · · · ·

Weird dream jobs

Sep 30th, 2009
by Scott.
Comments

Recently, an interview was posted on Wired.com that I did with actress Radha Mitchell. She’s currently starring in the movie Surrogates, alongside Bruce Willis, and next year will be in the remake of George Romero’s cult film The Crazies.

She talked about starring in sci-fi and horror ranging from the film adaptation of Silent Hill, one of the most successful horror videogame franchises ever, to a movie about a giant crocodile. However, she ‘s very quick to point out that – while she respects genre films — they aren’t all she does. It actually turned out to be a pretty interesting chat, so I encourage you to check it out.

After I interviewed her, I began thinking about actresses starring in horror —indisputable scream queens — who truly look at genre films as their bread and butter. A lot of people probably think about Neve Campbell or Jennifer Love Hewitt, actresses who propelled the late ‘90s self-aware horror into the limelight. But those actresses also had things like the TV show Party of Five…

I then realized that many of the questions that I had for my interview were based in my own curiosities. I have a strange desire to be in really lowbrow horror films at times. There’s no explanation. It is just plain weird. I then started to think about whose career I would most like to emulate.

Linnea Quigley’s face popped into my mind.
Linnea Quigley

She is most definitely not a household name, but she’s someone who has branded herself in the most interesting of ways. She’s appeared in roughly 100 films, with titles such as Night of the Demons, Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama, and my personal favorite, Return of the Living Dead. She’s also written books about her rise in this particular kind of cult fame in the books Chainsaw and I’m Screaming as Fast as I Can.

She also made something called Linnea Quigley’s Horror Workout:

Growing up, I watched Return of the Living Dead over and over and over again. It became clear that this was not an age-appropriate sort of thing when I brought it to my cousins’ house. I was probably about 8. My brothers and I popped it in the VCR. Swearing, nudity, and zombies eating brains ensued.

My cousin Ruby was not amused. Moreover, she could not believe that my mother is the one who made us this tape.

Linnea Quigley immediately stands out as a force to be reckoned with. Her name in the movie is Trash, she gets on tombstones and dances naked, and she looks at ugly buildings and says, “I like it. It’s a statement.”

Linnea is that ugly building. And I mean that as a compliment. She starred in a genre that, particularly in the 1980s and before, was considered on par with pornography. Despite public opinion and critical consensus, she did what she wanted and she did it well.

Normal acting dreams draw people to want to be the most beautiful or the most talented and serious. However, there is something to be said about being doused in buckets of fake blood, screaming at the top of your lungs, and treating it seriously. That may be one of the boldest statements of all.

Posted in: Goals, Trends, job search.
Tagged: · · · · · · · ·

The former unemployed guide to wedding season

Sep 24th, 2009
by Rachel.
Comments

Three weddings and counting and I have another lesson in life why being unemployed, or formerly unemployed, ruins your social life. You see I was invited to five, that’s right, five weddings this year. That number is not a lie. Starting in August and running through December; I’ve made three and sadly that’s where it ends.

One would think that wedding season is an unemployed person’s field day — friends, free food, booze and a built-in-dance party. Score! Plus, no one talks about jobs at weddings or the economy. It’s a rule. It’s all about remember whens and babies. Honest. If you ever do get asked about jobs just say “I can’t wait until they start a family.” Presto! Oos and awws — it works every time. Babies. You are so in the clear. But wait, there is the whole gift thing, and if it’s a wedding not in the city you live in then you have the flight, hotel and accommodation costs. Blasted! Unemployment foils your life again! No one said losing your job also meant that you’d also lose the chance to party at your friends wedding.

So what do you do? If I was better at life I could have done the following to ensure my dance party ticket at the last two weddings of the year:

  1. Saved my extra money from EDD: Ha. EDD totally could have financed my wedding habit if I hadn’t needed to pay bills. Maybe if I called my credit card company and explained that it was my best friend from when I lived in Austin and I totally had to be there. Sadly, I failed at life earlier on and because of credit card debt, my former EDD checks went to rent and that debt. Even working during the semi-unemployed status my money went to rent and debt. I’m taking steps now but if you are better at life than me then start saving now. I have another wedding in April of 2010. If I’m smart I can save now. Remind of me of this in six-months.
  2. Planned ahead: I was so neurotic about the future that I didn’t think far enough ahead when tickets were cheaper. Fail.
  3. Cut your friends off: Send a memo to your friends requesting they change the day of their wedding. Tell them 2009 is unlucky for fertility or something. Seriously, I can’t be the only one who thinks 2009 has been the year of the suck. If all else fails, “lose” your phonebook in a freak accident. Oops.

Honestly kids, from the increased debt I took on when I was unemployed to my inability to buy peanut butter anymore (not because I don’t like it, but because I can eat a jar in a week and that’s just not healthy), my former unemployed life wreaked havoc on my finances and my iron levels. So not only am I still in debt (all though working now), but sadly it looks like my dance card ticket has been revoked to my last two weddings of the season. My free meals and booze are only going to come from my sparkling personality and charm. Looks like I’m at a negative again. Oh well, there’s always wedding season 2010.

Posted in: Employment, FAIL, Unemployed.
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Hosting Your Unemployment Party, A Microsoft Cover Letter

Sep 23rd, 2009
by Scott.
Comments

Justin Long

Dear Microsoft:

I’m not sure if you’re looking for some new people to join your advertising team, but after this:

…You really should be looking into it.

Sincerely,

Scott Pierce

P.S. — Seriously, what is this? I mean, I’m as excited about the launch of Windows 7 as the next person, but come on. I realize we’re supposed to be all PC (har harrr) and whatnot, but who are these people and why are they hanging out together? It’s a cornucopia of awkwardness that’s more along the lines of The People Under the Stairs than a Brady Bunch group of togetherness.

These people are trapped. So trapped. They are in desperate need of throwing a real party. A party that I could give them if you hire me.

I know a lot about parties that should be kind of awkward, but aren’t. After all, I’m on a first name basis with the homeless of Polk Street. I love the lady with the kittens, Jasper chats with me everyday, and I pray for Hollister’s health. I ate at the same gross restaurant where a man just ordered gravy. And he ordered it to go.

I could give that extra boost to your advertising campaign through my experiences with hosting unemployment parties. It features a diverse group of people, much like the individuals in your commercial, except we are actually bonded by the fact that we’re all really desperate and in need of financial support.

My co-blogger, Rachel, provided this hint of wisdom about unemployment parties that I take with me:

“You need one part sarcasm, a dash of optimism, and a whole lot of free shit… Preferably with booze.”

Right now, I’m still confused by what your party is all about. Somewhere, Justin Long is super-happy. If you want to give him a frowny face or a blue screen of death face — give me a call, Microsoft!

Posted in: Money, Unemployed, career building, job search.
Tagged: · · · · ·

Nine months later

Sep 17th, 2009
by Rachel.
Comments

Nine months ago today I was unemployed. It was the day after my layoff and I refused to be scared. Life happens and I decided to do whatever it took to survive. It worked.

If you had asked me then the path to me today, or the person I am becoming, I would have been unamused. Seriously. I’d probably would have hit you in the arm and told you, “Kid, this is not a game and you are not helping.” Then I’d punch you again in the arm and walk away.  For me, my path has been marked by amazing friends, multiple jobs with new learnings, and the start of rebuilding the me I had forgotten about. Nine months later and life is the same, but different. I’m different.

I stopped coming here because I felt this social consciousness of not being able to write here anymore. I started a contract job and I wanted to take time to focus on it.  I won’t lie. I also stopped coming because I am extremely superstitious and neurotic. I get obsessed with patterns and didn’t want another variable to cause my universe to be come unhinged again. Creepy? Yes. At least I admit to it.

I’ve missed you blog. I’ve missed how we used to have long conversations about dried beans, peanut butter and my utter distaste for cereal. You never judged me. No, you merely let me talk. All the while I was with Mr. Unemployment, you were there for me. Steadfast and true, with your warm glow and your lovable typography; it wasn’t you. It was me. I’m back; for now at least. Did you miss me at all?

Posted in: Employment, Lessons.
Tagged: · · · ·

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