My apologizes to my friends on the east coast. I know you have #snOMG and #snowscrewed and all so don’t judge me when I complain about the rain. It really is nothing personal. I know you have the day after tomorrow outside your door tonight and all, and have been enjoying the miracles of empty grocery stores, but that does not mean your neighbors to the west haven’t been met with their own winter blues.
Rain. It’s not the fact that I can’t enjoy the sun or that I haven’t been to the park in months –don’t get me wrong being caught in the rain is like my favorite new hobby — no, it’s because for two months straight we haven’t seen the sun and it’s starting to affect me.
It’s easy when you’re down to blame the things around you. It’s not my fault I was late. Caltrain had electrical issues (two Mondays in a row, thank you). I blame Caltrain. It’s not my fault my alarm didn’t go off. My phone shut it self off. I blame my phone. It’s not my fault I’m uber depressed and moody. It’s been raining since January. That’s two months straight. I blame the rain.
It’s days like this that remind me of one my childhood favorite bands, Milli Vanilli. I actually remember reading about their demise in the newspaper. It was one of those icon moments where I remember putting down Dear Mr. Henshaw to read about why one of my favorite bands wasn’t going to be releasing any new tapes. I learned many things that day. My favorite may have been the new vocabulary word: lip sync. Awesome.
It’s times like this when I get down for no reason (besides the two-months of rain) that I need to remind myself that I’m accountable for my own actions and happiness. As much as I’d like to channel Queen of Hearts and take out my enemies with an off-with-their-head attitude, I remind myself living in a garden with headless people running around would be quiet lonely. I can only answer myself so much before even I have to tell myself to quiet down. It’s funny how as humans we can turn a semi ok day into a-terrible-horrible-no-good-very-bad-day when you let it.
I stopped trying to blame other people for mistakes, the weather, odds and ends that happen in a given day. You can call me one who likes to be in control, but I call it acceptance. When I take control and become accountable for my actions I discovered a new found power that exists. It’s the one that helps me grow, the one that helps me realize how in control I really am when things seem out of control. It’s not always the easiest. Especially when the angry voices inside my head tell me how horrible I am and the demise of mankind is imminent. I let myself feel down for that moment — to really take in the feeling — and when I’ve made myself feel terrible I pull myself back up and move on. So rain, you may have won this round, but my season depression will end, just not today.
And for all you snow bunnies, we may only have rain, but I envy your biceps, triceps and abs. Keep shoveling that snow, kids. You’re so ready for spring baby and you don’t even know it.


My job requires marketing writing that’s supposed to be in the voice of a teen girl (Interviewer: “Can you do that?” Me: “Duh.”). With my previous experiences working on ABC programming geared toward middle-aged women, I will soon have run the lady gamut and know everything there is to know about the fairer sex. 


